Dare I Breathe? Dare I Hope?

Poetry - Hope, Dreams


A little slow and off at the beginning, but it's been a while, so I'm not devastated!  Free Verse.  And the slow unveiling of a distant dream and a woman fights to breathe and to live....and most of all....to fly.


Zin


Dare I Breathe?  Dare I Hope?


Dare I breathe?  Dare I hope?  
For too long now, the page has been stark white
A bloodied wound begging to be healed
A barren soil with no fruit to nurture
Those tears that have fallen,
Have been shed in empty woes
For not a word of it has been drawn
For anyone else to know


Deep within I feel her rise
Dare I breathe?  Dare I hope?


Like a dream I look to the paper
The white blinding my soul,
But within the light, I see a shadow
A hand reaching, slowly stretching


Trembling
Dare I breathe?  Dare I hope?


I look to the pages that all came before,
Weaving this world with words,
But not a one do I see,
nor will I find
For this has remained


Within me.  
Dare I breathe?  Dare I hope?


The long, delicate fingers
That reach out of that light,
Bend and they twist
And dance once more do they!


Oh, what ecstasy!  Oh, what a delight!
I feel her move.  
I feel her rise.
No more to remain
Only with me,
She raises her head,
It's her time to live!


Raise your head, dear Rain,
Hold it up high!
For here, sweet Rain,
I dare to breathe!
I dare to hope!


And so I dare to fly!


And when I fly...


So Will You!


7.30.2011
C.S.Haynes (Zin)


Copyright © 2011 by C.S. Haynes
All Rights Reserved

A Toast!!

Poem - Loss, Hope, Peace, Celebration

To Jim and "Nose Pierced Beauty"!!

I cry with you,  and I will toast with you tonight!

A Toast to Jim...

May the angels surround you
and give out a cry...
Jim IS alive
and in death he does not lie!

We raise our glasses,
to his memory we hold high...
and in the center of the circle,
his spirit catches my eye.

A laughter of delight,
a fond kiss does he give,
he loves you my dear,
and hopes you will long live!

He is waiting for you,
all smiles and high hopes,
that in this life where you tread,
with his death you can cope.

For God lifts high
those with bright smiles,
to touch a soul for a moment,
is why they walked the miles.

So raise your glass high,
Mine I will too,
as his spirit lifts high
and he watches only you.

To Jim do we cheer,
he lived his life well,
now raise up your glass,
his memory we will not fail!

Hugz to you!

Zin

Quiet Summer Morning

Today would have been Jim's 24th birthday. It's so sad he can't celebrate it. The posts today in his memorial via Facebook really got to me:

You should be celebrating today. I keep thinking of how many wonderful things happened to me after I turned 24 and how you deserved to have all those life experiences and so much more. Happy Birthday Jimbo ♥

Happy 24th broseph. It's sad to think of all the crazy awesome things you should be doing to celebrate right now. I'm sure drinking a hoegaarden or three would be involved so I'll make sure to toast to you with one tonight. Wish you were here, kid. Summer ain't the same without ya.


Happy birthday jimbo! Heaven probably has awesome party's (:


Next Friday will mark 5 months since he's been gone. It still really hurts me to think about. I am crying as we speak. It just feels surreal. I wrote this poem today. Tell me what you think.

Quiet Summer Morning (Birthday Mourning)


صباح هادئ الصيف (الحداد عيد ميلاد)



Deep blue and purple hues flood the sky العميق الأشكال الزرقاء والأرجوانية الفيضانات السماء ،

Over the house where the slain lie فوق المنزل حيث تكمن القتيل.

The birds coo and sing, وسجع الحمائم والغناء ،

At the stroke of six, the bells begin to ring; في ضربة لستة أطفال ، لتبدأ أجراس عصابة؛

Slow and doleful, a dreadful dirge— بطيئة وكئيبة ومخيفة، نشيد وطني



Like the day the tears stained and purged مثل اليوم الدموع الملون وتطهير.

April is the cruelest month—March even crueler أبريل هو أقسى من شهر مارس حتى أشد قسوة،

Alas, I wish the day was April Fools— للأسف ، وأتمنى اليوم الذي أبريل السفيه،

Snow as white as a clean cotton swab; كما الثلج الأبيض الذي مسحة القطن النظيفة ;

A calm blue sky sobs الهدوء تنهدات السماء الزرقاء.

As blackness penetrates, night falls كما تخترق السواد، هبوط الليل

The death knell once so far now calls. ناقوس الموت مرة واحدة حتى الان تدعو الآن.

Earth is cloaked in impenetrable darkness ترتدي الأرض في الظلام لا يمكن اختراقها؛

As this fury of the flurries replace in starkness وهذا الغضب من تلك الثلوج في استبدال صارخ

And covers the shallow grave; ويغطي القبر الضحلة؛



The bitterness and coldness rips and shaves ومزقت المرارة وبرودة والحلاقة

tears and the once alive, happy face. والدموع على قيد الحياة مرة واحدة، وجها سعيدا.

Diiiiing, dooonng, the droning bells loom قرع، دونغ ، اجراس متكاسل تلوح في الأفق

Loom, loom, looming of the doom تلوح في الأفق ، تلوح في الأفق ، يلوح في الأفق من عذاب

In the rap, rap, rapping of six. في موسيقى الراب، الراب ، موسيقى الراب من ستة أفراد.

The memory that remains licks; الذاكرة التي لا يزال يلعق؛

Dew of the hot, humid day ahead, الندى من اليوم، والساخنة الرطبة القادمة ،

Reminds me of the day that tread. يذكرني اليوم الذي معالجته.

On this peaceful July morning في هذا الصباح يوليو السلمية ،

I sit amongst the flowers pouring; أجلس بين الزهور تتدفق؛

Tears that flow, the wish you الدموع التي تتدفق، وأتمنى لكم

Could have lived to see 24 too كان يمكن أن يعيش ليرى أيضا 24

And the other years that were meant والسنوات الأخرى التي كان من المفترض

To be filled with meaning, not spent— أن تكون مليئة معنى، وليس المستنفد

Happy birthday, you will never be forgotten. عيد ميلاد سعيد، وأنك لن تكون منسية.

Poem, Despair and Hope, Religious, "Listen - A Note From God"

"Listen - A Note From God"


In the darkness, I hear a scream.
It echos through the night eerie and cold.
What pain does this voice hold.
What darkness does this soul try to keep.

What is your fear child?
Darkness cannot harm you.
For darkness cannot penetrate light
And you are surrounded by the light!

Why do you cry child?
When the wind kisses away your tears.
And the birds sing just for you.
And the water laughs in delight because you graced it with a glance.

Why do you stare at the sky with longing in your eyes, child?
When you have wings on your back,
Soft and strong!
And the wind would rather die and never blow again than to drop you.

Why do you not laugh, child?
When the squirrels do their acrobatics just for you.
When the flowers dance at your biding.
When your laughter would create life.

Why do you stare at death, child?
When Death is the one who envy’s you,
Who turns his head, because life has embraced you and he cannot touch you.
When there is so much beauty and wonder before you, just for you, child.

Why do you not run, child?
When your legs are strong, your heart is pure.
When the deer await you, to bound with you, to share in the joy with you.
When the wind is at your back and God awaits you with open arms.

Why do you not smile, child?
When this place with all it’s beauty was created....

Just for you.

Why do you stare into the holes in the ground, child?
When the clouds are soaring past.
The hawk is calling your name.
And the wolf is waiting to walk and talk with you.

Why do you turn away and hesitate, child?
When heaven lays before you.
When love surrounds you.
When light shines upon you.

Sweet child,

You are who this beautiful world was made for.
Walk with Me and let Me show you it’s wonders.
Lay in the grass beside Me and let Me show you the stars.
Fall asleep in My arms and let Me sing you a lullaby.

Let the worries and the anger and the fear melt away.
For in this place, nothing can touch you.
I won’t let it.

I will keep you safe, daughter.
I will love you with all my heart.
I will hold you and dance with you and sing with you.
I will read stories and explore with you.
I will tell you how the world was made.
I will tell you how the angels can fly.
I will sing you songs that haven’t been heard for thousands of years.

And you will sit in My lap.
You will want for nothing.
I shall keep you close.

Just remember that before you come to me,
Enjoy My creations.
Enjoy My miracles.

Laugh, child.
Because your laughter brings joy to so many others.

I gave you life.  It is My gift to you.
Make the most of it.
Touch others with it.
For in the end, your touch will be more important that you can possibly imagine.

March 9, 2000

Zin Written for Kim

Copyright © 2000 by C.S. Haynes
All Rights Reserved.

Rules for Posting

First off, common sense, but I'll throw it in any way.  This is a privately operated blog.  Meaning, if I don't like it, I don't have to let it on my blog.  So, be aware of that very first and most important rule.  I'm too old to be intimidated or coerced into putting anything up I don't want, so do yourself a favor, and don't even bother.

The following are rules for posting on this blog.  Should you break any of these rules, you will immediately be placed on probation.  If you do so again, all posting privileges will be revoked and you will be banned from this blog.

1.      All writings should contain a "subject" and "genre" heading.  We seek to categorize the posts in order for others to be able to find what they wish to read more quickly, and to warn those who do not wish to read on that particular subject matter.

2.     For the moment, there are no restrictions on religion, political views, opinions, illnesses, or number of posts.  All genres will be accepted, unless one is taken advantage of or is used to try to sway or press the opinions and beliefs of others to conform to something they do not believe in.  That is a very quick way to get booted.

3.     Some subjects are frowned upon on this blog, and others are simply not permitted.  Suicide is frowned upon, as the purpose of this site is to help people to heal.  Pornographic  writings will not be tolerated.  Some sexual content is allowed so long as it is done tastefully. I will leave this open to add upon as I see necessary.

4.     Please sign your writings and/or messages.

5.     Any suggestions, recommendations or ideas to improve this site are welcome.  I certainly can't think of everything!

Thanks for your attention.  I can't wait to start reading.

This post will be added to a permanent page to be available at all times.

Zin