Just Muddling Through!

Just Muddling Through!


I've been gone for a while, but I'm back now and want to try to start keeping up with this blog more. I've learned a lot and want to try to figure it all out, and integrate it into my life, instead of just a "lesson learned".

Therefore, we say a fond farewell to Zin! (Yeah, that's me.) She stepped out from the hidden world and made her voice heard for the first time. She walked in places that would have normally never been seen for lack of bravery and self-esteem. She has lived this chapter of her life well. Now it is time to put Zin to rest. And watch as another is reborn in her place, a little wiser, a little more sure, and with a little bit more fire.

Goodbye Zin! (Yes, that's me) May you rest peacefully in the storybook from whence you came, and may the new phoenix arise and make you proud.

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Quiet Summer Morning

Today would have been Jim's 24th birthday. It's so sad he can't celebrate it. The posts today in his memorial via Facebook really got to me:

You should be celebrating today. I keep thinking of how many wonderful things happened to me after I turned 24 and how you deserved to have all those life experiences and so much more. Happy Birthday Jimbo ♥

Happy 24th broseph. It's sad to think of all the crazy awesome things you should be doing to celebrate right now. I'm sure drinking a hoegaarden or three would be involved so I'll make sure to toast to you with one tonight. Wish you were here, kid. Summer ain't the same without ya.


Happy birthday jimbo! Heaven probably has awesome party's (:


Next Friday will mark 5 months since he's been gone. It still really hurts me to think about. I am crying as we speak. It just feels surreal. I wrote this poem today. Tell me what you think.

Quiet Summer Morning (Birthday Mourning)


صباح هادئ الصيف (الحداد عيد ميلاد)



Deep blue and purple hues flood the sky العميق الأشكال الزرقاء والأرجوانية الفيضانات السماء ،

Over the house where the slain lie فوق المنزل حيث تكمن القتيل.

The birds coo and sing, وسجع الحمائم والغناء ،

At the stroke of six, the bells begin to ring; في ضربة لستة أطفال ، لتبدأ أجراس عصابة؛

Slow and doleful, a dreadful dirge— بطيئة وكئيبة ومخيفة، نشيد وطني



Like the day the tears stained and purged مثل اليوم الدموع الملون وتطهير.

April is the cruelest month—March even crueler أبريل هو أقسى من شهر مارس حتى أشد قسوة،

Alas, I wish the day was April Fools— للأسف ، وأتمنى اليوم الذي أبريل السفيه،

Snow as white as a clean cotton swab; كما الثلج الأبيض الذي مسحة القطن النظيفة ;

A calm blue sky sobs الهدوء تنهدات السماء الزرقاء.

As blackness penetrates, night falls كما تخترق السواد، هبوط الليل

The death knell once so far now calls. ناقوس الموت مرة واحدة حتى الان تدعو الآن.

Earth is cloaked in impenetrable darkness ترتدي الأرض في الظلام لا يمكن اختراقها؛

As this fury of the flurries replace in starkness وهذا الغضب من تلك الثلوج في استبدال صارخ

And covers the shallow grave; ويغطي القبر الضحلة؛



The bitterness and coldness rips and shaves ومزقت المرارة وبرودة والحلاقة

tears and the once alive, happy face. والدموع على قيد الحياة مرة واحدة، وجها سعيدا.

Diiiiing, dooonng, the droning bells loom قرع، دونغ ، اجراس متكاسل تلوح في الأفق

Loom, loom, looming of the doom تلوح في الأفق ، تلوح في الأفق ، يلوح في الأفق من عذاب

In the rap, rap, rapping of six. في موسيقى الراب، الراب ، موسيقى الراب من ستة أفراد.

The memory that remains licks; الذاكرة التي لا يزال يلعق؛

Dew of the hot, humid day ahead, الندى من اليوم، والساخنة الرطبة القادمة ،

Reminds me of the day that tread. يذكرني اليوم الذي معالجته.

On this peaceful July morning في هذا الصباح يوليو السلمية ،

I sit amongst the flowers pouring; أجلس بين الزهور تتدفق؛

Tears that flow, the wish you الدموع التي تتدفق، وأتمنى لكم

Could have lived to see 24 too كان يمكن أن يعيش ليرى أيضا 24

And the other years that were meant والسنوات الأخرى التي كان من المفترض

To be filled with meaning, not spent— أن تكون مليئة معنى، وليس المستنفد

Happy birthday, you will never be forgotten. عيد ميلاد سعيد، وأنك لن تكون منسية.


1 comment:

  1. You were crying when you wrote it. I was crying when I read it. That was beautiful! Truly a lovely testament to how much you loved him! Something just fell out of my mouth, so to speak, totally by surprise, and I'm going to post it real quick...for you and Jim.

    Hugz,
    Zin

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